From our Blog
More About Meaning: How Were Your Holidays?
During the holidays, did you find yourself more frequently in groups of people? Where the purpose was simply to be together, to celebrate the significance of the season and the passing of one year into the next? Before too much time goes by, consider this question: How fulfilling were those encounters?
Given the recent publication of Extraordinary Groups (Jossey-Bass, 2009), I personally found it difficult not to pay attention to what went on in the holiday groupings that unfolded for me. With no task to accomplish—except to gather at the close of 2009—I watched what happened in various groups of friends, family, and close colleagues. I couldn’t help but observe how conversations evolved, and the feelings that I had as a result of such lunches, dinner parties, phone calls, cups of coffee, or chance encounters. While I enjoyed them all, some were clearly more fulfilling than others. What was it that enabled certain events to have a quality of special closeness or a strong sense of community?
These reflections led me back to the subject of Meaning that I referenced in my December 21st post about the importance of meaning in workplace groups. Meaning is equally important when it comes to the groups in our personal lives. When I thought about my holiday events, I saw three types of conversations, each with a different level of meaning.
| Type of Conversation | Results | What Any One Person Talks About | What can Happen in a Group |
| Reporting In | Fun Light-hearted Feel somewhat caught-up with each others’ lives |
Facts, events, actions taken | -Curiosity, questions and answers -Swapping of stories -Multiple conversations at once |
| Meaning |
Appreciation for one another and the chance to be together
|
Significance or meaning of those facts, events or actions: interpretations, conclusions, lessons-learned |
-Thoughtful discussion around topics of mutual interest and importance -Good listening -Exchange of perspectives related to various interpretations, conclusions, or lessons-learned -Questions considered by the whole group |
| Deeper Meaning | A strong sense of community and shared connection at the heart level | Acknowledgment of increased personal awareness or insight, or disclosure of personal feelings about the past, the future, or in the moment | -Deep, caring listening -Questions that trigger deeper reflection and disclosure among some or all members of the group -A palpable sense of connection among those present -A sense that, at least for a moment, time stands still |
I wonder how you might describe some of your holiday groups. In which settings did you find particular meaning, connection, and fulfillment?
Of course, seldom would any one conversation--let alone a holiday gathering--fit neatly into only one row of a grid such as the one I've offered here. However, I know that when I walk away from certain events where friends and family have come together, there's sometimes a predominant feeling about what just occured--and the way in which it was fulfilling or not.
And sometimes, after such events, I know that I'm different because of a "profound shift" in how I see the world, thanks to the conversations that took place. And when this shift causes me to feel more energized, connected, or hopeful, I'm likely to use words like amazing, wonderful, or extraordinary to describe what just occurred. For me, this has been much more likely to take place in a setting where conversations of deeper meaning have happened.
How about you?
For more on such transformative shifts, check out Chapter Seven in Extraordinary Groups.
Next post: Recognizing Compelling Purpose
Prev post: Happpy New Year!
Comments
Commenting is not available in this content area entry.